Monthly Archives: October 2008

New Animals from the Air

This week was draining. I felt like my mouth failed me in so many ways this week. Talking too much at points and not enough at others.

I was outside of myself.

I felt so very huge. and so very small.

But on a positive note, I was paid a compliment by Lindsay… I have achieved Best Boyfriend Ever status and I feel flattered and proud to be exploring this new relationship with someone so complimentary. I sent her a package which arrived Thursday and did a good job of cheering her up ( Thank you Chris for sending it ) Me and Chris had also sent Julianne a package with some goods about a week ago as well, with supurb timing as well…

I have been thinking about how I let my “mouth runneth over”. I have felt like a rambling idiot some moments and introverted curmugeon other moments. I dont quite know what the deal is but I think that sometimes lately I have been seeking a release of some sort. I have been looking for the words to describe the following:

My happiness,
My confusion,
My wanting my sister to be joyeous and feel she is loved,
My wanting/missing/adoring Lindsay,
My wanting my brother to be happy and to push
himself to a new level and get a job,
My wanting Clint to succeed in his business adventures in the mountains,
My lack of personal space,
My appreciation for Robert and Megan’s hospitality,
My yearning to live in a more positive fashion than I have ever done before 
My Joy in playing with Roberts daughter Laura
My anger at losing sleep,
My feeling of helplessness for all those who are going through
something that I cannot fix or aid them with….

It seems that everyone has been going through various movements and fighting their own seperate battles while I simply cannot fight for them. I feel so very helpless at points. With everyone, I feel that all I can do is try to be vocal about my support and let them know that I am completely behind them with everything that they do. But even with this task I have failed this week. I have not done a very good job at expressing how grateful I am of thier existance in my life, or how I truly believe they will pass these moments by with more strength than they realize. I have failed to let them know that I care more about them and their stuggles than I do of my own selfish pinings. I have failed to let them share their stuggles and confide in me so that I may give them strength by just listening. I have failed to bring everyone faith in themselves.

This is my attempt at letting them all know, ( even if you were not mentioned ) without opening my mouth that I am here.

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years before I met you girl

michael has girlfriend.

I know that most people who are aware of my well-being are up-to-date on the fact that I have feelings for a certain girl. That girl being Lindsay Compton. ( http://bonjourmatey.blogspot.com/ ) 

It is very comfortable. Along with moving here and feeling so at peace with myself. She pushed me over the line and I felt at home with her. I have begun to plan a trip to go see her. I feel like I am chasing something. A feeling. Will I catch her?

I have spent the last few weeks talking to her for an hour or two at night. “Interviewing each other” as my mother put it. It is exciting to want to talk to someone and get to know them with urgency and with heart. Sometimes I find myself enjoying the silence between us on the line, while we are thinking of the other person or debating the views of the other person. It has been engaging and exciting. It has been worth it and despite the 6 or so states between us… I cannot deny the feeling of possibility, or compatibility.
She was super nice and bought me a monochrome Detroit Tigers hat. I was pretty stoked to see it show up. and I must say it looks good on me. And no, I did not leave the bill straight . I know I talk a little thuggish sometimes  ( Yeah I know, Carson Daly style, Leave me alone. ) but the line gets drawn at the straight bill. 

oh and we have started reading books together. and will be documenting our little book club between us on this blog:

http://www.meandyouandagoodbook.wordpress.com 

We will most likely be alternating book choice and writing up some minor dialogue regarding our opinions and such. Please drop in. Tell us books what to read and what NOT to read. Our first book is A Wolf At The Table by Augusten Burroughs (Running with Scissors).

Also please pay Chris a visit over at the new Avantcore/Etsy Storefront. Chris has been working pretty hard to get this up and running. Maybe you know someone you’d like to drop a “WTF” card on? or tell someone you are SO-rry? or maybe you want some buttons for your plain ass backpack? I think you do.

 

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5899900 

Yes. Do it.

Napalm In The Morning

This is for Julianne. She is now reading Heart of Darkness, which I could not get into for the life of me. I was trying to tell her about this part in Apocalypse Now…

This is my favorite part of the movie. I think that it shows alot about the human condition. I also can’t overlook the fact that surfing is the basis for this scene. 

Ill write more later when I feel like it.

PCL

michaelresist: sleep well lindsay.
lightsoemitted: you too, michael.
lightsoemitted: night.
michaelresist: (night)

Picture Twinkies.

I know these aren’t the same photo, and I know that I posted the one of Lindsay last week or something…but I couldnt help but note the similarities.

So tomorrow I start a new job working for Silver Fox Productions. ( http://www.silverfoxprod.com/ ). It is going to be a new step for me. I will be getting up early. Riding the 8 O’Clock,594 to Downtown Seattle, Getting off at 4th and Union, then walking like 10 Blocks up Pike to my workplace. Its going to be an adventure of sorts. I am not sure what to expect though I do have some idea of the tasks involved with my new job, namely: Information Graphics and Powerpoints for big name companies. 

I have been going through some stomach issues lately not being able to eat without my stomach calling me a bastard. And Ive basically come to the conclusion that its probably stress related. The last month or so sort of taking its toll on me in the form of stomach cramps, lack of appetite, and the like. Its been awesome. and by awesome I mean. not at all…My stomach aside I am very happy with my decision to leave behind Oklahoma and start anew.

The last few weeks I have had a few things come into my field of vision and I have tried to absorb them for all they are worth:

I am now living at my good friend Robert, and I have been able to see him grow from practically daily drug user, lost individual, to a guy in the military trying to sort something out, to a somewhat reformed functioning father who busts his ass daily for his wife and kids. It is gratifying to see him come so far. and to have the growth of this individual be shown in the smiles of his children.

I have seen my brother grasp the idea of leaving Oklahoma, and successfully make the journey with me. I often withhold my excitement for him, but I am so relieved that he has made this journey with me. Both for him and for me. It is not selfish of me to want my brother out of Oklahoma. ( And Yes, Julianne, I urge this upon you as well. ) I know it was a great step for Chris to abandon his comfort, for sake of an opinion of Seattle impressed upon him by his brother. 

I have also been able to endulge myself in the company of Lindsay, who at this point lives in (basically) Detroit, Michigan. Her company on the trip was appreciated and it allowed me to see her in a different light. Having seen her in this light, it made me want to pursue her. And as much as I can at this distance, I have tried to invest in her, talking on the phone (Alot), writing her, and even have sent her flowers ( Oddly enough from a business called: Silver Fox…Coincidence?).We seem to have potential, and I am enjoying her both as a friend and as someone to be with…which is awesome and nerve-racking all at once. I hope to see her soon.

Lastly, I also have been able to look at myself and see that I have come along way.

There is no need for details here but know that I am humble in what I have  and grateful for the opportunies at hand.