Vengeance

Currently watching Princess Mononoke.

Been listening to lots of rudeboy reggae.
Been debating lots of other things too.
Ill update monday.

They don’t even care about us in the backs of their cars.

I’ve found that it takes a few days for me to get some momentum so that I can relay my thoughts and feelings on this here machine. Target cut my hours down, right when there was actually stuff here in the area I could afford to go to and plan around. Despite the fact that I shouldn’t have I spent some money on myself. I live here in the mecca of american music and haven’t went to as many shows as I would have liked to. So for this reason I decided it was okay to spend money at Easy Street’s crazy summer West Seattle Street Fair Sale. 3 used cds for 5 dollars. It would have been hard for me to walk away from this and so instead of hating myself for ignoring its beckoning call…I embraced it and bought myself some music. It made me feel better. spending an hour or more rummaging through bins, looking for gold. Its always amazing to me what people pick up and what they throw away.  While digging I also reserved a few that I found for Lindsay because I know she abhors digging through the muck ( These are marked with astericks ).


Red Sparrows-At the Soundless Dawn
( Instramental featuring members from ISIS)

Owen-At Home With
( Mike Kinsella wooing girls and vindicating the male point of view )

The Album Leaf- Into the Blue Again

Rogue Wave-Descended like Vultures

*Nickel Creek-This Side
( This one has their cover of Pavements Spit on a Stranger )

*Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s- Animal/Not Animal
( Double Disc…Score!)

*Sleater Kinney- The Woods
( Someone accidentally put the Live cd in there as well, double Disc…Score!)

Pete Yorn- Nightcrawler
( Little less adolescent than Music for the Morning After )

The Blow- Bonus Album
( They re-do Jason Andersons Jet Ski Accidents! Had to have it.)

Chuck Ragan- Feast of Famine
( Chuck was so nice the few times I met him, have to support that man. )

Dillinger Escape Plan-Under the Running Board
( Thier First Major Release on Relapse)

Pg.99-Singles
( Intellegent Experimental Punk/Hardcore, the envy of many many bands, also featuring members of City of Caterpillar )

The Six Parts Seven-Lost Notes from Forgotten Songs
( Remakes  of 6/7 songs by Iron and Wine and Pedro the Lion )

Engine Down-A Sign of Breath Ep
( Engine Downs Members now form parts of Cursive and Sparta, even though I think Sparta sucks )

Tom Brosseau- What I mean to Say is Goodbye
( There is a little Folky Western singer songwriter in all of us, no? )

Drums and Tuba-Battles Ole’ ( This was my one unsuccessful purchase I had read a review about it being pretty ingenious on their part as musicians only to find that musically the music was average and the vocals were horrible but sometimes its fun to dive into something your unfamiliar with just to remember that feeling that you had being younger experimenting with your tastes…Everyones “tried” to listen to Primus at least once right?)
What I should have done is compiled a list of all the cds that I overlooked for sake of sparing my bank account. And the fact that this sale is on rotation throughout the weekend with a new surplus of cds constantly being added…well let’s just say I’m avoiding that place for the rest of the weekend.

Ive been reading my Einstien book alot lately. It is interesting to read his words and feel this common understanding.  Something that caught my attention was something he wrote in regards to someone else:
” Few People are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social enviornment. Most People are incapable of forming such opinions.” (Aphorisms for Leo Baeck)

It stuck me deep reading this. How far have I pushed myself to be one of these few people? I haven’t been delving into the news as much as I used to. It’s not that I’ve grown disinterested, it’s  that I have began to push myself into thinking more than talking. This will change Im sure. But I think the fact that I have withdrawn into myself has caused me to ignore current events for the most part. I read them everyday but it hasn’t been sinking in. I need to fix this.

-This weekend was West Seattle Street Fair, and I can now say I’ve seen Mudhoney. This was something I wanted to experience for myself but  Chris, his friend Lydia, and Lindsay all joined me. Next weekend I will be venturing to the Vintage VW Meet in Shoreline. Should be quite badass.
If you see any of us online or about, ask how we are.

Despite it all…I have to take something with me back to the midwest don’t I?

-edit. I jjsut remembered I bought these too:

Mum’s Summer Make Good, and…

S.Malkmus and the Jicks: Pig Lib. Also…Chris found me this:

Its been a lovely music filled few days.

The Levee with not hold the water back…

A few weeks ago I went home with my brother to see Julianne graduate High School. On our return flight, there was an obnoxious, spoiled girl sitting next to her (probably obnoxious ) spoiled mother. The mother who lived in California sat next to her semi-nerdy looking husband, and as the two chatted it up about stupid bullshit the daughter decided in her 2-3 year old mentality that it would be okay to kick the back of my seat. This would normally be dealt with by a polite parent. But when that parent is a self-consumed B-word, than the kicking proceeds for however long the flight is. In this case it was around an hour and fifteen minutes. In my head I was trying to find ways to adjust to the persisting, nasally, self-righteous voice of her mother nagging at her child and whining to her husband. All while trying not to lash out and tell them all to STFU and to be mindful that they were not on their back porch sipping mimosas and drinking Coors Light.


So anyways I drew this up the other day ( the top one ) and Chris suggested me adding a few variations so  Lindsay supplied the idea of shoving them into the overhead compartment. I should have done a better job with showing a leg hanging out in front to the left of me in the strip but whatever.

I have been struggling to find direction and feel as though it may be time to remove myself from the greater Seattle area, in order to move forward with my life and to not struggle. These last few weeks a few things have plagued me:

1: Being Un-Employed Sucks.
2: High Cost of living plus Un-Employment Sucks
3: Working at Target,  though it has been steady, is not my life-choice, nor is it enough money to sustain oneself in this environment
4: Having a experience is a major factor in one’s career path, but if you can’t get ahead somehow, and can’t get comfortable, then how does one gain that experience? ( Life experience doesn’t count for shit either, mind you. It adds character and bitterness to real life situations ).
5: At 28, I am ashamed that I am still depending on my parents for support.
6: I feel conflicted about the fact that I brought my brother with me into this enviornment and he has had no luck in finding a job.
7: Man vs. The Economy, is sadly an impossible match-up. Fate sides with the bigger of the two, and it is up to the smaller to find a way to beat the recession. What are the options.
8: Of the options at hand, I have yet to decide. Move back to Oklahoma try to find work, get into a program at a school that nobody gives a shit about and start various projects to keep me busy, blinding me from the fact that I took two steps backwards to go forward. Move to Kentucky with Jon and his wife Terri, attempt to get into the Architecture Program despite my past mishaps with Arithmetic, hopefully succeeding and starting something with Jon. Stay here and be poor, struggle to find work aside from Target because firms and studios are going to hire 45-yr old men and women that have more experience and are struggling because of the economy too.
9: These facts along with the fact that I am in a relationship with Lindsay leaves me conflicted.  Which direction is best for me, which direction is best for us, and what evolution does our relationship take due to our personal choices.

I wrote out a few other things that have been bothering me, like the fact that my ten year  high school reunion was the other day, and the high cost of gas and some other trivial things. But wordpress decided not let me save a draft so I tried publishing only to have it be a version from minutes before trying to save. Bleh. Anyways. Here are some currents:

Listening to Do Make Say Think, Mount Eerie, Unwed Sailor, John Coltrane.
Looking forward to this:

Reading Middlesex still.
Hoping for some peace of mind in all this decision making.

Peel back the layers.

My family was visiting this last week and we were fortunate enough to go see Jim Henson’s Fantastic World at the EMP. It was pretty interesting. We also looked through all the Jimi Hendrix Experience stuffs as well.  Some people may not know but when I was younger I was all about Seattle music. (  Wasnt everyone? ) Hendrix’s Machine Gun was a favorite of mine.  I believe I was a friend of lyrical content early on. And his emulating the sound of a machine gun with his guitar is something that people still try to effectively do today…Listen to Into the Moats: Empty Shell for an example. Maybe thats a stretch but regardless it was neat to think about his influence musically and engulf ourselves in the information. We also went down to Alki and got our feet wet, we had a picnic across from the Seattle Skyline. My mother showed Lindsay how to make bread. We went to Ikea and Julianne got all sorts of stuff for school next fall. We got to go to the Aquarium and check out all the native sealife. (Thanks Hiedi) and we got lots of walking in. I’m sure my parents are exausted, and Julianne can’t wait to get more than 20 ft away from them.

Anyhow bringing out the Hendrix also forced me to look to see if  Mr. J. Mascis and Mr.Lou Barlow had put anything new out and low and behold I got a hold of the new Dinosaur Jr Album: Farm.

I imagine that video was alot of fun to shoot. Along with so much more that went on this last week Lindsay bought me this:

Which I was completely stoked about. Ive been eyeing it prior to its release two years ago… The Book was designed by Sagmiester, Inc, which is pretty awesome. It was a nice surprise and I can’t wait to dig into it. I haven’t been reading that much lately or doing much of anything with myself. Though I am and have sort of settled on a new logo for myself I don’t know when that will be debuting.  Going to be working on that a little more…and working on a few more ideas. Of course I say this but my game plan always becomes blurred with day to day nonsense.

Currents:
Dinosaur Jr: Farm
Sebadoh:  Bakesale ( Thanks for reminding me I own that Kevin)
Middlesex ( Yeah I’m still reading this, off and on.)
Debating my future.
Sketching.
Still Drooling over buses, and yearning to surf.
Wanderlust (Ratatat Remix)
Debating an Albrecht Durer Tattoo, sometime.
Enjoying my City Critter Toy I got at EMP.

We Bury Our Dead Alive

I have been trying to regain composure and try to figure out what I’m going to do with myself and my abilities. I have found it really hard to stay positive and motivated. This comes as no shock to those within my home radius. Its not something I am proud of but I have a tendancy to forsake the present in leu of trying to gain higher ground. This is good in some instances but when you are treading water it serves no purpose. You may as well start swimming and enjoying the water. Sharks or not.

Currents:
Suicide Nation
Yaphet Kotto
Off Minor
Envy
Sed Non Satiata
Daitro
Amanda Woodward

Reads:
No.5 Illustration Annual(3by3)
Wood Houses (Thanks Lindsay)

Sorries:
Sorry for being so off and on everyone.
If you hit me on an off day. I apologize.

A few weeks ago I found these at Easy Street Records…Okkervil Eps.
Mr. Will Schaff holding it down with those scratch boards.

Me and Christopher will be flying “home” to Oklahoma to stay with the parents for a few days in celebration of Juliannes gradiation’ -Say it with Oklahoma Accent. Should be fun to see the family.  I made the investment of some shoes. I sort of felt guilty about it. but like my mom said sometimes you have to buy something so that you can see you’re not just living and working to buy food and pay bills.

I feel like I have yet to gain traction in this beautiful place that I live. I wonder how I can do that. I need to quit spending money on little things like new shoes and occasional cd purchases because my computer is coming up on like 6 years and it’s probably going to die soon. It cannot endure too much more I’m thinking. I also need an oil change ( Past due ).  I have moved to daytime electronics dept. for Target which allows me to socialize with customers and that sort of helps me get through the day. I’m sure for the most part they look at me as someone below them working at a retail store and thats okay. Let that slide.  I think I’m going to start drawing up an arsenal of shirt designs I would like to make and perhaps one of these days when I get some money flow I will get to it. either that or  I will pay Clint off and he can get to it. ( Do work son!) Hope that Memorial day business helps you out.  I’m going to get some momentum. I will and then I will be on top of things. Cross your fingers.

Currently:
Hating the fact that people that work shit retail jobs often watch shit tv on their breaks. Is it loud enough? Soap Operas are a NO.
Glad I have friends and family who keep me living.
Glad I’m going to be eating some snitzel this weekend.
Glad I have an Ipod for plane rides.
Glad I don’t have to worry about food/bills for 3 days while I’m at home.
Glad that I will be able to see my sister. Hope fully her dog lets me sleep.
Glad that Lindsay has a good job and she is having fun learning.
Glad Chris is still pulling some freelance.
Grateful that I have a job.
Glad that my car is still running.
Hoping I can get to the doctor/Dentist sometime.
Wishing for some time to read. ( Plane ride?)

I will be in A-town Thursday-Sunday. If you feel so obliged do come say hello. I’m not going out of my way for anyone. Its Julianne’s weekend.

Give Them Rope She Said

Its been a while, I know.

Updates:
Mike has a job working at Target ( Its paying the billz. sort of. )
Chris is doing freelance for more than a couple places.
 Julianne is  a Valedictorian for Altus High School.
Lindsay has a job here in West Seattle.
Shannon and Emilys Baby is doing great.

I have procrastinated on the following due to lack of momentum:

Online Webcomic.
Making Kolby’s “RIDE AT MIDNIGHT”sticker. 
Personal work of any kind.
Editorial type artwork.

I have done the following:

Applied for numerous design posts on Craigslist, Monsterjobs, Volt, and other such services.
Started playing drums in a crust/punk/hardcore band.
Am moving from Backroom position at Target to Electronics
( Normal shift and I get to see people now)

Purchased the following books:
Understanding Comics by Chris McLoud. Ideas and Opinions by Albert Einstein.

I have avoided purchasing:
More new Books.
More new Shoes.

I have busted out these old albums in leu of curing some nostalgia?  
…or to cure my taste for the heavy in the last little while:
Melvins:Houdini (I’m missing the 25th anniversary show to go to OK, Singles 1-2. The Maggot.
Bad Religion 80-85, Recipe for Hate,Suffer, No Control
Nirvana:Bleach
Fugazi: Instrament, In on the Killtaker, Repeater, Furniture EP
Minor Threat: Discography
Coalesce: ( new ox rip ), Give Them Rope She Said, 0:12 Revolution in Just Listening
The Clash: The Clash, London Calling
(This list could continue but I’m switching subjects )
 
I have cooked the following: ( with a helper slash team-mate on some of them)
Mariners style Garlic French fries ( Lindsay’s idea! They were awesome.)
Habanero , Honey BBQ Chicken. ( Better Barbecued, but still awesome baked )
and not so new to the Lee Bros arsenal of make-shift sandwhiches: The Turkey-Pepperoni Sandwhich.
 -which by the way we would love if you could think of a name for it. Lindsay calls it The Special. But me and chris cringe at that. haha. Such Fascists!

Watched the following:
The Office Seasons 1,2,3,4 (almost halfway)
Party Down:Season One:
Metalacalypse:Season One ( Halfway through, rewatching for the most part) 
The Venture Brothers: Seasons 1,2,3. 
Kungfu Panda
Mallrats ( Lindsay had never seen it. SNOOCHIE BOOCHIES!)
The Wave (German) 

Anyhow. I hope all is well on whichever front you are on.